Say it right

We, sometimes, wonder what went wrong when we thought that we had everything rights. The situation hits us, smack, in the face and after the initial confusion we settled ourselves to the fact that it was not really our fault. But, think again!

It is the one word, one phrase, one expression, one sharp intake of breath that decides the fate of the reaction of the person standing in front of us. The power of communication!

We often come across people who know just what to say and we also come across people who have the most ill timed punch lines and jokes, and then we have the most dangerous of all-the ones who express nothing at all. They could be sniggering behind your back for all you know.

However, coming back to the matter at hand, with so many people judging our speech and actions we are often in a dilemma. We feel that what ever we say or do should please other people. And so it should be, so that people around us are happy. With numerous lessons going around on social etiquette, we wonder where all the talk of individuality and uniqueness is gone.

Still on the actually telling our natural selves in order to conform to cumbersome social standards? That thing that really confuses us is whether we should go and do what pleases others or should we put ourselves above the rest. And one really wants a boringly uniform set of behavioural patterns running through communities and societies.

In other words, where are all the people? Why is everyone saying the same thing? Today it’s easier to be someone else, but it’s tougher to be yourself.

What for?

When we think about the future of anything, we consider its incipient stages, where development and moulding may best work. So when we talk about the evolution of humanity we think of it in terms of children. It is, then, very rightly said that children are the future of the world. Bringing them up to be efficient and responsible individuals is the collective influence of a responsible society.

Children are like soft clay that takes the impression of anything that comes in contact with it. They are the creators of tomorrow and they are the makers of what is to be and because of this it is very important that they get the best there is.

Every child is different from the other in one way or another and traditional methods of conditioning and training are being done away with and a more individual sort of attention is being paid to children. Special attention is being given to their unique requirements at mental and emotional levels. This is a big step in the way of a child’s mental and emotional development. We may look at this change as a positive move in the direction of much needed evolution of the human race.

Children should be able to tap into this advantage of being given individual attention and work towards their aspirations. The exposure that children are receiving now, as compared to what children were receiving some decades ago is very different and very vast. Development in technology has made everything so easy. Accessibility, in terms of available information, centres of learning and qualified guides has grown manifold. Opportunities, today, are endless. There is no reason why our future cannot be bright.

What children can do, now, is to diversify their knowledge and churn out better careers. The concept of having super specialized skills helps people to do what they are best at, and this should be a step towards encouraging children to follow their dreams, something which was only a utopian concept until now.

A seedling when nurtured, with utmost care and devotion, will give you, after careful supervision, an individual that will give you the fruit of your labours. Same is the case with children. When you nurture their needs and essentials you are making an investment in your own future.

Life does not come easy and to prepare for the uncertainties of an undisclosed future the understanding of the trivialities of the world is very essential. Redeeming the future from the clutches of a tainted past should be the one and only motive behind developing a race of, undeniably, superior beings.

Children are the very key to the realization of this vision that the well wishers of the future talk of. This realization is not a far thing because today our children are sharper and more independent. Their constant development is insuring us of a very bright future.

The innocence of a child is the beginning of a new dimension from where he or she starts the journey to their future. The duty of a balanced societal structure is to give them that opportunity and guide them in a direction that best suits their needs.

Not all children are as privileged as the others, and keeping this in mind our duty to humanity in general is to be sensitive to them. A majority of the Indian population cannot afford an expensive public school education, but that does not mean that these children are any less intelligent that those who have had the advantage of a more holistic education.

For those who are lucky enough, it is imperative that they understand the gravity of their situation in the social structure, as more responsibility is expected from the people who have than from those who are not fortunate enough. And for the same reason, the collective effort that goes into such ventures, which work towards uplifting the more unfortunate sections of the society, needs to be emphasized and reinstated in the minds of children.

As implied earlier, what you sow, so shall you reap, there is no substitute for hard work and diligence. So when it comes to achieving something for yourself, or the people around you, you must not leave any stone unturned. And at the end of the day when you look back at the milestones that you have conquered, they should not only tell you how much you have done for yourself. Instead it should tell you how much you have done for others.

You must not only grow for yourself, but for everyone. A part of you is obliged to do your bit for the others as well. Limiting yourself to pitiable restrictions of race, caste and creed not only undermines your abilities, but also makes you small in perception and approach. A complete human being was never one who held prejudices.

When you are done with realizing your dreams and aspirations you will know that you were happier when you saw others happy around you. Great avenues are there for people to explore and reach out to, but what makes you a person of integrity is when you take people along with you. You will work better and achieve more if you have the blessing of a grateful population that is indebted to you for their success and progress.

Hungry Hungry

Have you seen baby sparrows eat? They eat as if their lives depended on it, and so it must. If you ever have the opportunity to see these little tufts of feather, notice that, these creatures make sure that their tiny beaks are never empty. I can imagine the plight of the parent birds, because I elected myself parent of one such speck.
Every year, the monsoons come like an ominous wave of destruction, and sweep away everything in its path. While some enjoy the showers, others detest it. Grey skies and howling winds accompanied by lashing rain are the characteristic features of the monsoons in the mountains of Mussoorie. More often than not, one comes across fallen branches and nests with dead birds in them. On one stormy day, I almost stepped on a small lump on the ground. Had I not detected the insignificant movement, I would have probably squashed the poor mite under my foot.
On close inspection, I saw a pink, featherless, and very ugly baby sparrow. (Correction. I did not know that it was a sparrow till much later.) More out of curiosity than love, I, gingerly, caught the bird by one wing, between my thumb and forefinger, and held it up for further scrutiny. It made feeble attempts, at what I thought was, defence by straining its puny head to peck at my trespassing fingers. Its beak did not reach me and after a while it just gave up and retired to its fate and so I did not get pecked. Encouraged by the forced docility of the chick, I decided to keep it and look after it because the creature looked cold and, obviously, did not have a home anymore. The first thing I learnt about birds was that they had enormous appetites and lightening fast metabolism and in all my limited knowledge of parenting, I set out to mother this impossibly, hungry bird.
A bird is one thing, but how many of us actually, feel like we are nurturing peculiar ‘hungry’ expectants? How many of us are, relevantly, aware of these wolves that are eating into our existences? We would never agree that we are passive targets for active exploiting elements that function at various levels in our lives and the lives of others around us. The hitch lies in the identification of these elements. While some of us accept their presence, some of us live in denial. We, conveniently, delude ourselves and start believing that life, as we live it, is perfect. We find ourselves, constantly, adopting concepts and attitudes that feed on our sense of belonging, which corrode our reasoning of right and wrong. We go against nature and pick up little habits and quirks on the way and let them feed on our way of life to a point where they become a part of life itself. Drinking, smoking or doing drugs may start out as experiments and while some leave it at that, some incorporate it into their lifestyles. Innocent curiosity, may eventually, lead to guilty addictions which at first seem harmless but, once indulged in indiscriminately, become lethal consequences.
Feeding the foster avian was a thankless job. The bird wanted food every ten to fifteen minutes and just when I thought that I was done feeding the bird, it would let out a long mournful chirp followed by frantic, ear drum splitting, and shrill noises which I never knew sparrows had the ability to make. Then its body would break out into spasms and the spasms would flow out of the body in the form of bird excreta. The grey mass would settle in the tissue paper that I had used to line the box in which I kept the bird, and that would call for a change in the interior decoration. This exercise took place, once, every hour, during the day and the only time when I was not feeding or cleaning was at night when the little thing would snuggle into the crook of my neck and sleep and that was the only time that my ward was not in the box. With its constant demands for food it is no wonder that I decided to name the bird ‘Hungry’.
The feeling of not being able to get away from something is not an, altogether, alien one. There is one thing or another that we want to get away from but are bound by the way we project our personalities or by the way we expect others to. These things are like that hungry little bird that demands your, undivided, attention, and the more you give into it the more they become a part of you. We create barriers in our minds about people. We divide them into socially acceptable or socially not acceptable on the same lines on which we were judged ourselves. There are three categories of people in this day and age, the privileged, the underprivileged and the unprivileged. If we were to split hairs, we could safely say that no one, no matter what they say or do, completely, belongs to one particular category. Making ourselves believe that we are a better sort of people than the rest, has us feeding the hunger of undue attention and importance. But when we want to get out of the manner of doing things in a particular way we are shackled by our own commitments to social arrogance.
The little ugly, pink thing had sprouted soft, white and brown feathers after a while and had stopped looking quite so ugly. In fact it looked quite cute. With me having taken up maternal duties and with Hungry having accepted me as its mother, we had built our lives around each other. To be precise, I had built mine around Hungry’s. After such a long time, curiosity had turned into attachment and just like any pet becomes a member of the family, Hungry had become a part of mine. If anything was to be done it was done with Hungry in mind and, although, I had gotten used to the bird’s demands, I was finding it difficult to cope with the way it was changing. Hungry was not a docile little chick anymore, in fact I was having trouble confining it to its box. It had become quite spirited and had a mind of its own. It hopped around at will and pecked at everything. I was scared that it might get hurt or get lost or get into trouble or get me into trouble. I did not have the heart to cage it nor was I willing to let it saunter around on its own. How long could I hold on to Hungry before he was to fly away? Hungry was growing up.
Sometimes, the hungry elements in our lives tend to get out of control. They may have seemed to help somewhere along the way, but really, all they did was aggravate the situation. Constant pestering by parents may push one child, or two children to get better grades, once, twice, thrice, and maybe throughout their academic career. But let us not forget that many parents have lost their children to grades. The hunger for being at the top may not always be fed instead it may lead to dire consequences.
Soon it was time for me to let go of Hungry. I had been letting him fly off to the nearby trees. Hungry would be gone for a few minutes and then be back. Soon it had taken to staying out late, but it would always return before sun down. I was reluctant but determined to let it be where it was meant to be. I know I could not give it any ‘birdly’ advice neither did it have a birdlike upbringing. To let it go seemed like the hardest thing for me to do. I might have even wept a little on the eve of letting Hungry fly away for good, but to let go was something I had to do. Then one day Hungry flew off and never returned. I was hoping that it had found a mate and had made a nest and was ready to incubate eggs. I wasn’t sure whether Hungry would be a mommy or a daddy. All I knew was that whatever it was it was not going to be good at being it.
Letting go of ingrained habits is the hardest thing to do, especially, when they are the wrong ones, those that have been unnaturally incorporated into our lives by external influences. But getting rid of them is essentially important, and the best way to get rid of them is to stop feeding them. When we continue to let these elements dictate our behaviour and how we feel we end up in a mess that we need to constantly clean up. Being able to maintain a certain level of peace of mind is a difficult task. There will always be some hungry state of mind eating away at our patience and peace. Trying to keep that condition at bay is one thing and to eliminate it, another. The stronger our conviction the better able we are to deal with such situations.
These ‘hungry’ expectants are not as trivial as a baby sparrow. The intensity of their damage is beyond measure and cure. We all have our little birds, making us uncomfortable, and making us stray from the more important things in life. The idea is not to control them, but to let go of them, so that our existence, and the existence of those around us is less cumbersome.